this current guy in my life. he is twenty five. birthdays on may twenty fifth. he doesnt have a job. never had because of some social disorder that he has. i hate his mom for not taking care of it when he was young like around his elementary age. his parents were doing drugs. always high. blah.blah blah. until he and his mom had to leave his dad because he became so violent and maybe his mom couldnt take it anymore. they lost everything. their house. car. treasures. etc. i have thought of dumping him several times and i think we may actually break up next year. we'll see. right now he is in oregon with his mom since early november. just for a visit. i bought him a one way ticket and his mom will take care of his going back ticket.
i dont know. ive been losing my patience about him not seeing a doctor about his disorder his anxiety his depression. etcetera. ive been trying to encourage him but i can only do so much. we've been together for five years and i dont think i love him anymore. i care about him but just not love him the way i used to. the sad part is he doesnt know how i feel. im afraid that if he knows about this, then he might do something really stupid like kill himself or whatever. gosh. i hate this feeling.
i think his family has some sort of history of mental disorder. he is very bright though. he was second place on the us national chess championship back in the early nineties. he didnt finish high school and had tried getting his GED once, but failed the writing part. so he has to retake it. so far, he made an attempt to do it but didnt get around to it. he has no job history at all. his friends whom he met were all from online and in different states. his very best friend is around...he is an owner of a chess club in the east bay. theyve been in contact thru email.
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